I am a worship leader and as of a few months ago, I became a PREGNANT worship leader.
This is a first for me. I am about 5 months along and my husband and I just found out we are having a boy! I am stoked! This journey has been incredible, and even though it brings out a lot of fear in me, the joy outweighs it all.
When my husband and I started having the "kid" talk, it took me awhile to give the go ahead. My husband is totally a kid person, but me on the other hand... not so much. I was never one to babysit, and I have never been one who sees a baby and immediately wants to hold it. Kids freak me out.
Also, I LOVE what I do. I have been leading worship for over 10 years and it is incredible. Leading worship is fulfilling and exactly where I feel God wants me. So how does a kid fit into that? I am still figuring that out (hence pt. 1 of this blog post), but I know now that I feel called to both. And as I walk through this journey of being a pregnant worship leader, I wanted to share some things that I have discovered so far:
- PEOPLE SAY THE WEIRDEST THINGS.
As a worship leader, people tend to "know" you more than you know them. They see you on stage every week, but you don't necessarily see them. As a pastor and shepherd to them, there is an emotional connection that grows. So, because they feel emotionally attached to you, they tend to give you advice... and lots of it. Like what type of baby products to use and the best way to parent. The advice is endless! They also ask the most personal questions. For example, "Are you having a c-section or going natural?" or "Are you going to be breast-feeding? How long?" I have been blown away by the amount of questions asked of me so far! And I am only halfway through my pregnancy. I have had to learn that it is okay to take some advice and leave the rest. Do what is best for you, your body, and your family.
- PEOPLE HAVE NO SENSE OF PERSONAL SPACE.
I can't count how many people have come up to me and immediately touched my belly. There was one instance where a lady came up to me, proceeded to intimately rub my stomach and said, "When I was pregnant, I hated when people did this to me." What!? Then maybe you shouldn't do it to me. And I find it so funny because there is no other time that people would reach out for your mid-section except when you are pregnant. I don't understand it. But it definitely has made me more aware of what I do to others. I am sure that I am guilty of touching a pregnant belly before. Watch yourself!
- THE FIRST TRIMESTER WAS BRUTAL.
Everyone is different and every woman's body is going to react to pregnancy in a different way, but for me, that first trimester was not fun! I never knew I could be that tired. Every minute of every day called for a nap. And on top of that was the nausea. I felt like I was in a cloud for 3 months. Thankfully, the cloud has lifted and this second trimester has been fun and full of energy. But man, the last thing I wanted to do in those first couple of months was lead worship. That was difficult both physically and emotionally. Not only did I have a hard time deciding to have kids, but now my body wasn't allowing me the energy to enjoy leading worship. That was a hard season. But being on the other side of the cloud, I can now say that it was ONLY a season. And the joy of leading worship has returned to a greater degree. Now that my baby can actually hear my voice and guitar, it has given me a new passion to sing. Not only am I leading others in worship, but I am teaching my little one about Jesus... singing songs over him. How beautiful is that!
I am still learning and I can't wait to share more with you... like how the heck I am going to play my guitar once my belly is too big! LOL.
To all of the pregnant worship leaders who have gone ahead of me, my hat's off to you. Share your own experience by commenting below. I would love to hear it! Let's walk this journey together!